Sri Lanka is an amazing country, well-known for its rich history, its fine teas and beaches, and particularly for its gems. Most famous are the blue sapphires, which primarily come from gravel deposits in the southern two-thirds of the island country. Unearthed by hand, the blue sapphire—like most Sri Lankan gems—is dusty and relatively dull when found. Only after a bit of cultivation, polishing, and care is the stone’s beauty fully realized.

As with the blue sapphires and other Sri Lankan gems, leaders who shine—those who are grounded, productive, and engaging—aren’t simply born, they are shaped—by their own efforts, and by the efforts, care, and cultivation of others. The connection between leadership and the role others play was further brought to light earlier this year at an International Finance Corporation (IFC) sponsored awards ceremony in Kandy, Sri Lanka. At the event, designed to honor local women entrepreneurs, four senior executives who lead global businesses shared insights about their respective leadership journeys.

In addition to acknowledging the role of hard work, these executives offered insights from their experiences regarding what it took for them to maintain authenticity, and to lead. Perhaps easy to hear but harder to live by, their reflections encourage aspiring leaders to challenge and push themselves, and to be open to the right support from others.

The following insights and reflections from women—regarding their journey in leadership positions—are useful for all of us:

“If you are living your purpose, it doesn’t matter if someone likes you.” – Sonu Grover, Country Manager, Coca-Cola India

In my work as an leadership development and organization change consultant and executive coach, I’ve observed that a good percentage of leaders, and women leaders in particular, struggle to balance being liked with doing what they believe to be right. This is where ‘purpose clarity’ can make a real difference. Taking time to get clear on your purpose and what you are intending for yourself, and others, makes it easier to stay grounded and clear in times of difficulty. This is particularly true in times of change and uncertainty as people will experience ups and downs, and the feelings that come with them. Having resolve, and clarity of purpose and intent is critical. As reflected in the quote, “If you want to make everyone happy, don’t be a leader; sell ice cream,” leadership can be tough. Purpose clarity supports one’s resilience. Jim White’s book What’s My Purpose is a helpful read and workbook that one can work through to get clear on purpose at their own pace.

“I don’t back off of challenges. I am able to [take on challenges now] because someone had confidence in me.” –  Katsuri Chellaraja Wilson, Managing Director – Hemas Transportation Sector

People need people. As evidenced by our helplessness as infants, human beings are fundamentally social; we require nurturing and care to develop. Perhaps starting from age two and continuing into the teenage years and even adulthood, many of us start to lose sight of the positive impact and influence others have had in shaping who we are. Many leaders I work with only realize the depth of significance of people and events early in their lives after focused reflection. For example, I’ve invited leaders to draw a picture (a lifeline) that helps them tell their own story. They remember that Mr. Zhou told them not to quit, that their second boss Martha Jones told them they could do it and gave them that big assignment—and these experiences made all the difference. People need people.

While hard work is a key factor for many, absolutely no one has achieved success without some form of support from others. Knowing who your past and present supporters are, and being clear about who among them will invest in you and your betterment, are important sources of strength which can help with peace of mind. They can help you keep your Back UP so that you don’t end up backing down when it matters. This is why it is useful to invest time in defining your network. The questions to be answered: who among those who have been a part of your journey can you count on to provide you support, as well as challenge you to be at your best? What conversation do you need to have to confirm their current interest and commitment to you?

“Having the ability to be uncomfortable [is what allows me to take risks and lead].” –  Chandi Dharmaratne, Senior Director Human Resources, VirtusaPolaris Sri Lanka

Growth and learning inevitably involves feeling and being uncomfortable. Why? Because we tend to learn the most when we stretch ourselves beyond what’s familiar and known. This familiar and known place is often referred to as ‘the comfort zone.’ The key to learning is moving beyond our comfort zone, but not so far out that we become too stressed to function and learn while in the new experience.

Several years ago a colleague and I were working with a group of approximately 125 international leaders. Predominately from Central and South America, the primary language for most attendees was Spanish. However, they chose to conduct the meeting in English so that everyone could participate. While my colleague and I were facilitating the meeting, for a variety of reasons, the group became restless and somewhat impatient. Briefly feeling paralyzed and uncertain as to what to do, I decided to take a risk. I walked to the center of the room and, taking the microphone in hand, I started to speak using my best Spanish. I am not fluent. Before that day I had never spoken Spanish in a business setting and I was definitely uncomfortable. Thankfully, the risk paid off. The group calmed down and began to re-engage. The experience reminded me that I have good instincts. Having learned that I could use my limited Spanish to positive effect, I took one step closer to being more trusting of my instincts and comfortable using my far from fluent Spanish. Being open and willing to step beyond what’s comfortable and risk being in new territory is what allows leaders to learn and expand their minds and abilities. Eleanor Roosevelt suggested people “do one thing that scares [them] every day.” Deliberately taking small risks on a regular basis (i.e., daily or weekly) is a useful way to build one’s capacity and willingness to step up and lead in uncomfortable situations.

As reflected in the points shared by Sonu Grover, Katsuri Chellaraja Wilson, and Chandi Dharmaratne, leadership in today’s complex and dynamic environment requires a lot from those who choose to take it on. Grabbing hold of these leadership gems along with using the advice and tools referenced can help to create the conditions for learning and growth, and for ambitious leadership that is grounded in substance. Being clear and acting on your purpose, knowing who your supporters are (including accepting support and challenge from them), and allowing yourself to be uncomfortable with taking risks, are core and committed practices that reduce the “dull”—the not knowing where to focus, the failing to consider important staff or stakeholders in key decisions, the inability to adapt and respond to change. By applying these leadership lessons, you too can continue to move toward the most brilliant you. May these leadership gems support you to shine.